How to say no workshop
Full Workshop Recording (August 2021)
Maybe this resonates?
Someone asks you to help them and you just don't want to.
A friend texts: "what are you doing tonight?" - you want time alone, but you don't really have an excuse not to see them.
You're asked pick up extra shifts at work, to do more than is realistic, you're expected to work overtime for no extra pay...How on earth can you refuse?
What about when family want to visit for longer than you'd like them to, or you'd prefer they didn't stay at all, then what?
Is it possible to communicate what doesn't work for you, without upsetting, disappointing, offending the other person?
Without being rude and unreasonable, or seeming super selfish and inconsiderate?
YES it is possible.
...it's just that most of us aren't given permission to say what works for us, or shown that it's ok to prioritise ourselves.
So, we need to learn. Maybe you want to learn how to -
Pause before you respond to people, so you have space to work out what's best for you (when we've been in a habit of putting other people first, it can be hard to actually know what we need, so time is golden!)
Structure your replies so they are kind and considerate of the other person,
whilst also helping you to get what you need.
Get better at dealing with guilt, so you can communicate what does and doesn't work for you more confidently...
I'm here to support you with honouring and respecting your needs as much as you do everyone else's.
This workshop will help you begin...
Hey - I'm Elsie
I'm a recovering people-pleaser and Psychotherapeutic Counsellor.
For a long time, my life and my feelings were dictated by other people - I didn't know what it meant to do things purely for myself.
It felt selfish and unkind.
I would regularly over-commit myself, only to let others down (the very thing I was trying to avoid) and I prided myself on being flexible and easygoing.
After losing my way a little and ending up in therapy, I slowly learned that there was another way to live.
A way of life that was centred on what I needed and wanted.
...and it didn't involve becoming the thoughtless, hurtful and difficult person I thought it would - who knew?!
Today, I absolutely love helping other lovely people discover this, too.
Join me for a gentle hour on Zoom
Where a fear of saying "no" usually comes from
A super simple explanation for why it feels easier to say "yes" than to risk your "no"
How to start saying no - including how to structure kind responses, pause before you react and address feelings of guilt.