I’m Elsie Owen, a Psychotherapist with a gentle, practical approach.
I specialise in supporting people-pleasers who feel anxious and overwhelmed by the idea of setting boundaries, even when they know it’s what they need.
I know what it’s like to want more for yourself: more ease, more breathing room, more choice, but feel stuck in old patterns of guilt and responsibility that keep pulling you back.
My support is all about helping you feel emotionally safe enough to build boundaries that honour your needs, without sending you into a panicky spiral.
How I support my clients:
While of course you care deeply about the people around you, people-pleasing is often a way you’ve learned to manage how uncomfortable you feel, when you think someone else might be upset, unhappy or otherwise not 'ok'. It happens because you struggle to healthily separate yourself from them, and your feelings feel directly connected to theirs.
Most conventional advice about boundaries and people-pleasing misses something crucial: practical tips alone aren’t helpful if even just the idea of setting a boundary sends you and your nervous system into dysregulation and anxiety. This is why you might know you need to stop people-pleasing, but still find it too uncomfortable to actually follow through.
When we work together (in therapy or through my course), we explore how to gently separate yourself from other people’s feelings, and begin learning how to regulate yourself and stay steady, even when someone else isn’t ok. So you’re free to start making choices and expressing yourself in ways that feel more aligned with you, and live in a way that truly honours what you want and need from your life.
My story
There was a time when I couldn’t tell you what I actually wanted, because I was too tuned in to what everyone else might need from me.
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If someone seemed unhappy or uncomfortable, I’d jump straight into fix-it mode. Not just because I cared (which I really did), but because their discomfort felt like mine. I was ‘outsourcing’ how ok I felt, to how they were feeling.
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It took a lot of therapy to learn how to come back to myself. To stop letting my sense of calm be guided by everyone else’s moods. To ask: What do I feel? What do I want? What works for me? And base my choices and decisions on what was true for me.
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It’s important to me that you know I’ve experienced my own version of what you're going through. I bring all my clinical knowledge and insights as a Therapist to my work, and I'm also happy to share my own experiences where helpful - I know how reassuring it can feel to know it's not just you.
Training and experience
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Postgraduate Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling from the Northern Guild for Psychotherapy, with an additional 2 years of Psychotherapy study at postgraduate level.
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Professionally Accredited Member of the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society.
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8 years of clinical experience, supporting people who feel stuck in patterns of people-pleasing, guilt and anxiety about expressing what they really feel and need.
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Supported hundreds of people, in therapy, groups, workshops and my online course. ​
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Regularly a guest on podcasts, speaker at events and host of online and in-person workshops.
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Sharing boundaries and people-pleasing content with a community of 29K+ on Instagram. Find me - @Boundarieswithelsie.
If you'd like my support
If you’re curious about working together, the next step is to explore the options and see what feels right for you. You're also welcome to email me to discuss what the best fit will be.
