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If you're aware of people-pleasing tendencies within yourself, then it might make sense to you that finding it hard to say no is one of the most common struggles for us.

Learning the skills to say no when we need to is also quite literally life-changing!

If you want to change your mindset around saying no, escape the cycle of constantly minimising your needs and release the guilt that keeps you saying yes, this is for you.

  • Understand the thinking, behaviour and beliefs that make it feel impossible to say no.

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  • Fully explore your needs, so you start to validate the true costs of not saying no & value what you want. 

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  • Learn how to start saying no through teachings, journal pointers and lots of lightbulb moments, informed by psychotherapeutic theory, clinical work and anecdotal experience.  

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  • Discover the Boundaries Script Framework I use to write the example scripts I share on Instagram (check them out!) so you have the actual words you need to start saying no with kindness & confidence.

In Start Saying No, I'll take you through the insights, ideas, tools and new perspectives I've learned really help when it comes to feeling more comfortable to say what we actually want. 

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Across 9 days, you'll read the key course teachings and then explore the topics through reflective journalling. You'll be introduced to new ways of thinking that will help shift your mindset around saying no, so you feel more confident and more comfortable to say what you need. You'll also be invited to reflect in ways that will strengthen your connection to yourself and your needs, leaving you in a much stronger, more empowered position to start advocating for yourself. 

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Once you've completed the 9 days of reading & reflecting (you can go faster or slower, it's entirely up to you) and you're feeling empowered to start saying no, you'll be introduced to my Boundaries Script Framework.

 

This is a 7-part guide to finding the right words to express your boundary (it's the framework I to use to create the script templates I share on Instagram - you may have seen them!) It's filled with examples, guidance and boundary-setting tips. You can revisit the framework as many times as you like - so each time you find yourself struggling to say no, you'll have a resource to support you with saying what works for you. The framework has formed over a number of years and is inspired by what helps me to communicate more clearly and what seems to help those I work with, too. 

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The course is a downloadable PDF that you can access from your phone, tablet, computer - you could print it, too!

This course is ideal for you, if:

You find it really, really hard to say no when you need to.

 

So you find yourself agreeing most of the time; maybe to invitations from friends, requests from family and/or tasks at work.

 

You know it's not serving you; when you say yes to the people around you, you are almost always saying no to yourself. 

 

But you feel uneasy even just thinking about communicating more truthfully. And even if you could, you wouldn't know what to actually say. 

 

And you don't want to seem selfish or unkind, so the idea of upsetting people keeps you stuck in a pattern of dismissing your needs.

Course content:

Part 1 - 9 day self-study course (10 mins each day) 

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  • Day 1 - The problem with saying yes 

  • Day 2 - The costs of not saying no

  • Day 3 - Journal invite 1 

  • Day 4 - What happens when you don't say no? & Journal invite 2

  • Day 5 - Validating your no & Journal invite 3

  • Day 6 - We need to talk about guilt & Journal invite 4

  • Day 7 - Pausing before responding 

  • Day 8 - Using the 'delay' tool & Journal invite 5

  • Day 9 - Do you always know what you want? & Journal invites 6 & 7

Part 2 - Boundary script framework 

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  • 7-part, step-by-step framework.

  • Gives you the language to communicate your "no" with kindness & clarity.

  • Filled with examples.

  • Finish with a fully formed message/reply/email, written in your own words.

  • Revisit every time you need to say "no".

I'm so glad you're here! I'm a UK-accredited therapist & I've been working with people who struggle to prioritise themselves for 5+ years.

I'm on my own journey with people-pleasing; learning to value my "no" has been a powerful, deeply challenging and hugely rewarding experience. In learning to speak up, I haven't become selfish or harsh in the ways I once imagined I might, I've gained confidence and instead become a gentle but firm advocate for myself and my needs. It's changed my life. 

I run boundaries workshops, courses and groups as well as seeing clients 1-1 in my private online practice. You'll find me posting on Instagram as @the_peoplepleasing_therapist where I share practical tips (like the boundary scripts you'll create if you join the course!) insights and encouragement to help you break the cycle of pleasing others.

I hold a Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling from the Northern Guild for Psychotherapy where I studied Psychotherapy for 5 years. I've worked in various settings including numerous mental health charities and I'm an Accredited Professional Member of the National Counselling Society. 

Meet Elsie - guide & creator of this course

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