You’re exhausted from always saying yes.
But you're scared to rock the boat. Scared of disappointing people. Scared of feeling horribly guilty if you even think about putting yourself first.
You just want a life where you can breathe a bit.
✦ Where you don't feel responsible for everyone's feelings.
✦ Where you can prioritise yourself without feeling like a terrible person.
✦ Where you feel steady, calm and free to live your way .
If this sounds like you, here's what you need to know:​
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Putting others first is not about pleasing them. It's about feeling safe. ​
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When other people are happy, you feel settled. When they aren't, your nervous system is on-edge.
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So you say yes, go over & above and abandon yourself, to calm the internal panic.​
✦ You don't need to get braver, you need to feel emotionally safe to set boundaries ✦
You need to learn to feel steady and safe, even when others aren’t okay, so you can stop living in constant reaction and start choosing what’s right for you.
Imagine your shoulders relaxing because:
✦ You trust others with their feelings and don't carry them as yours.
✦ You can steady yourself through guilt, instead of abandoning what you need.
✦ Your focus is on your life, not managing everyone else's.
✦ You can say no to invites and cancel plans just because you need to.
Stories from previous participants:
Nicola
"I've always been a people-pleaser and found setting boundaries tough in terms of the emotional worry & guilt. You see and feel improvements quickly with BBB. I recognise I have been given a 'role' of being flexible and pleasing, but I didn't ask for this and I can reject it now because [I can see] I have a choice, I can move out the lane I've always been in. Now I genuinely feel OK looking out for myself and my own needs. BBB is 100% worth investing in. "
Eva
"People pleasing others constantly was making me feel unwell and resentful. Now I feel I have a choice and have acknowledged to myself I matter too. I feel more in control of my happiness, serving my own self care before attending to others, and feel much less resentful. The personalised support from Elsie whilst doing the course made a huge difference to me. I'm really glad I took the time and spent the money on BBB to break this unhealthy cycle.”
I'm Elsie, the Psychotherapist behind BBB
I used to live in constant reaction to everyone around me. If my boyfriend seemed happy, I felt settled. If he was 'off', I was anxious and preoccupied with fixing things. Even if I was feeling ok, as soon as someone else showed signs of discomfort, I was on-edge and felt responsible.
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There's alcoholism in my family and one day in a support group, someone said: 'you're not responsible for other people's feelings you know'. I didn't fully believe them at first...
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But I quickly realised I needed to learn how to steady myself when other people are uncomfortable, instead of trying to soothe my anxiety by fixing them. Because if my sense of calm is dictated by other people's feelings, then I'll never be in control of how I feel. ​
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Learning to refocus my attention on me gave me my freedom back: to choose what works for me, to express myself, to rest, to say yes only when I want to, to honour my feelings, to do what works for me.
...Build Better Boundaries is your path to finding your freedom, too 🧡
BBB includes:
​​​✦ The Safe Boundaries Framework - My signature approach that makes setting boundaries feel safe instead of scary (the missing piece most boundary advice ignores!)
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✦ 16 Video lessons - Gentle, clear and no longer than 15 minutes each.
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✦ 12 Practical worksheets - exercises to build your boundaries confidence step by step.
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✦ 13 Boundaries tools - including word-for-word scripts, techniques to connect to your authentic feelings and strategies to manage guilt.
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✦ The Secret Boundaries Framework - Explore boundaries that require no direct conversation, so you can build confidence without others even knowing.
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✦ The Spoken Boundaries Framework - Learn exactly how to shape verbal boundaries that are both clear about your needs AND considerate of others.
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✦ Your Safe Boundaries Blueprint - A customised plan to maintain your boundaries long after the course ends.
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More words from previous participants:
Claire
"BBB is so so so helpful I can't begin to tell you. I am 52, about to see my youngest off to university, and I can feel the slow yet steady burn of change everywhere. The change I'm seeing is a positive, profound change in thinking and attitude. Thank you for your expertise, your gentle patience and giving someone who has spent her life forgetting what she wants and who she is the opportunity to pause and remember."
Sara
"I am a total people pleaser and struggle to set any boundaries, especially terrible guilt and fears of rejection if I do prioritise myself. But this morning I had a migraine and actually had the guts to message to cancel something instead of dosing myself up with painkillers and dragging myself there! Loving the course."
Lovisa
"I feel like I've been looking for this for a long time without knowing it. This course goes even deeper than I figured at first - I didn't realise just HOW big of an investment in myself I was about to make. So worth it. If you have the slightest feeling that BBB might be for you, I guarantee you that it is."
Join Build Better Boundaries
Your purchase is protected by a money-back guarantee. If by the end of all 6 modules you still haven't set your first (or next) boundary, you can ask for a full refund.
Click here to read the full course terms.
Frequently Asked Questions:
More words from previous participants:
Note: these testimonials are from earlier iterations of my boundaries courses.
Amy
"Saying no was just not something I did, and if I did, it felt like I was letting people down. Now I feel lighter and empowered to express what I need and I don't ignore it so much."
