You’re exhausted from always saying yes.
But you're scared to rock the boat. Scared of disappointing people. Scared of feeling horribly guilty if you even think about putting yourself first.
You just want a life where you can breathe a bit.
✦ Where you don't feel responsible for everyone's feelings.
✦ Where you can prioritise yourself without feeling like a terrible person.
✦ Where you feel steady, calm and free to live your way .
If this sounds like you, here's what you need to know:​
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Putting others first is not about pleasing them. It's about feeling safe. ​
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When other people are happy, you feel settled. When they aren't, your nervous system is on-edge.
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So you say yes, go over & above and abandon yourself, to calm the internal panic.​
✦ You don't need to get braver, you need to feel emotionally safe to set boundaries ✦
You need to learn to feel steady and safe, even when others aren’t okay, so you can stop living in constant reaction and start choosing what’s right for you.
Imagine your shoulders relaxing because:
✦ You trust others with their feelings and don't carry them as yours.
✦ You can steady yourself through guilt, instead of abandoning what you need.
✦ Your focus is on your life, not managing everyone else's.
✦ You can say no to invites and cancel plans just because you need to.
What’s waiting for you inside Build Better Boundaries:
Across 6 self-study modules, I'll teach you my Safe Boundaries Framework, to help you feel emotionally steady and equipped to prioritise yourself.
You'll feel safe enough to set your first (or next) boundary within 6 weeks!
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Who is this course designed for?This course is ideal for people who have a tendency to put other people first, leading them to feel anxious, stressed and resentful, and would LOVE to be able to prioritise their own needs without feeling guilty.
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What's the difference between a course and therapy?This course is a psycho-educational resource focused on understanding and overcoming people-pleasing tendencies, for educational purposes only. This course is not an appropriate substitute for therapeutic treatment, a therapeutic relationship, or formal medical or mental health care. Therapy is a professional relationship, tailored to your goals and needs, offering in-depth support. Some people sign up for the course alongside therapy. While it's not a replacement for therapeutic support, it can complement the work you’re already doing really nicely. I always suggest letting your therapist know you’re working through the content!
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I feel guilty spending money on myself - how do I know if it's worth it?It's so common to question investing in yourself when people-pleasing is a pattern - that hesitation is part of what we'll be working on together. You might consider: ​ How easily would you make a similar investment for someone you love? What's the cost of continuing to put everyone else first? (time, burnout, stress, your happiness?) Breaking this down, it's about £5.70 per day for the structured course period - basically a posh coffee out (therapy with me is £95 a session). You get lifetime access, meaning you can revisit these tools and teachings whenever you need them. The skills you'll learn will serve you in every relationship and situation going forward. They may just change your life!
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What format is the course in?There's 3 weeks of content, but it's totally self-guided, so you can progress at your own pace. The course includes audio sessions (max 8 mins), a comprehensive workbook with all the content in written form, and journal prompts and exercises. You can engage in whatever way feels most helpful - listening, reading, writing, or a combo.
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How much time do I need to set aside each day?About 15 minutes, which works nicely with a cuppa!
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How long will I have access for?Lifetime! So take as much time as you need. There's no rush, and you can revisit materials as often as needed.
-
What topics are covered?You'll explore the roots of people-pleasing, techniques to identify and express your own needs, and strategies to build self-worth and set healthy boundaries.
-
What if I need support while doing the course?While this is a self-study course, you're welcome to reach out with any technical questions. For emotional support during this process, I encourage connecting with your existing support system, whether that's friends, family, or your therapist.
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What is your refund policy?The course is non refundable. If you are unsure if this course will be of value, please contact me at info@elsieowen.com and I will be happy to answer any questions and support you as best as possible with your decision!
Stories from previous participants:
Note: These testimonials are from earlier iterations of my boundaries courses.
Amy
"Saying no was just not something I did, and if I did, it felt like I was letting people down. Now I feel lighter and empowered to express what I need and I don't ignore it so much."
Natasha
"I used to put others first, put chores first, put anything first before me. Now I know I do deserve to have boundaries and prioritise myself and I don't feel guilty anymore"
Alice
"I was so convinced my people pleasing was too ingrained to change. Now I'm trying new boundaries and it feels good. I feel so pleased with myself when I stick to my boundary! I haven't felt really stressed out - freedom!"
I'm Elsie, the Psychotherapist behind BBB
I used to live in constant reaction to everyone around me. If my boyfriend seemed happy, I felt settled. If he was 'off', I was anxious and preoccupied with fixing things. Even if I was feeling ok, as soon as someone else showed signs of discomfort, I was on-edge and felt responsible.
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There's alcoholism in my family and one day in a support group, someone said: 'you're not responsible for other people's feelings you know'. I didn't fully believe them at first...
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But I quickly realised I needed to learn how to steady myself when other people are uncomfortable, instead of trying to soothe my anxiety by fixing them. Because if my sense of calm is dictated by other people's feelings, then I'll never be in control of how I feel. ​
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Learning to refocus my attention on me gave me my freedom back: to choose what works for me, to express myself, to rest, to say yes only when I want to, to honour my feelings, to do what works for me.
...Build Better Boundaries is your path to finding your freedom, too 🧡
BBB includes:
​​​✦ The Safe Boundaries Framework - My signature approach that makes setting boundaries feel safe instead of scary (the missing piece most boundary advice ignores!)
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✦ 16 Video lessons - Gentle, clear and no longer than 15 minutes each.
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✦ 12 Practical worksheets - exercises to build your boundaries confidence step by step.
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✦ 13 Boundaries tools - including word-for-word scripts, techniques to connect to your authentic feelings and strategies to manage guilt.
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✦ The Secret Boundaries Framework - Explore boundaries that require no direct conversation, so you can build confidence without others even knowing.
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✦ The Spoken Boundaries Framework - Learn exactly how to shape verbal boundaries that are both clear about your needs AND considerate of others.
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✦ Your Safe Boundaries Blueprint - A customised plan to maintain your boundaries long after the course ends.
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More words from previous participants:
Note: These testimonials are from earlier iterations of my boundaries courses.
Sophie
"I struggled to put myself first without feeling guilty. The course was so supportive and positive and has given me brilliant advice that I can implement."
Fiona
"Guilt is a big thing for me. Years ago I read a book 'feel the fear & do it anyway'. Now I've learned to 'feel the guilt & do it anyway' too!'"
Caitlin
"I was the 'yes woman' at work, always willing to stay late because I thought that's what a 'good' worker did. I began to recognise this was at the expense of my own health and peace. Now it's become easier to leave at 5pm and I don't look back."
Join Build Better Boundaries
Your purchase is protected by a money-back guarantee. If by the end of all 6 modules you still haven't set your first (or next) boundary, you can ask for a full refund.
Click here to read the full course terms.
-
Who is this course designed for?This course is ideal for people who have a tendency to put other people first, leading them to feel anxious, stressed and resentful, and would LOVE to be able to prioritise their own needs without feeling guilty.
-
What's the difference between a course and therapy?This course is a psycho-educational resource focused on understanding and overcoming people-pleasing tendencies, for educational purposes only. This course is not an appropriate substitute for therapeutic treatment, a therapeutic relationship, or formal medical or mental health care. Therapy is a professional relationship, tailored to your goals and needs, offering in-depth support. Some people sign up for the course alongside therapy. While it's not a replacement for therapeutic support, it can complement the work you’re already doing really nicely. I always suggest letting your therapist know you’re working through the content!
-
I feel guilty spending money on myself - how do I know if it's worth it?It's so common to question investing in yourself when people-pleasing is a pattern - that hesitation is part of what we'll be working on together. You might consider: ​ How easily would you make a similar investment for someone you love? What's the cost of continuing to put everyone else first? (time, burnout, stress, your happiness?) Breaking this down, it's about £5.70 per day for the structured course period - basically a posh coffee out (therapy with me is £95 a session). You get lifetime access, meaning you can revisit these tools and teachings whenever you need them. The skills you'll learn will serve you in every relationship and situation going forward. They may just change your life!
-
What format is the course in?There's 3 weeks of content, but it's totally self-guided, so you can progress at your own pace. The course includes audio sessions (max 8 mins), a comprehensive workbook with all the content in written form, and journal prompts and exercises. You can engage in whatever way feels most helpful - listening, reading, writing, or a combo.
-
How much time do I need to set aside each day?About 15 minutes, which works nicely with a cuppa!
-
How long will I have access for?Lifetime! So take as much time as you need. There's no rush, and you can revisit materials as often as needed.
-
What topics are covered?You'll explore the roots of people-pleasing, techniques to identify and express your own needs, and strategies to build self-worth and set healthy boundaries.
-
What if I need support while doing the course?While this is a self-study course, you're welcome to reach out with any technical questions. For emotional support during this process, I encourage connecting with your existing support system, whether that's friends, family, or your therapist.
-
What is your refund policy?The course is non refundable. If you are unsure if this course will be of value, please contact me at info@elsieowen.com and I will be happy to answer any questions and support you as best as possible with your decision!
