YOU'RE TIRED OF BEING EVERYWHERE FOR EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME.
And you're even more tired of knowing something needs to change, but watching the same patterns play out again and again...
Maybe this sounds like you:
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The word "no" makes you feel anxious, scared and deeply uncomfortable.
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You know you need more boundaries, but the anxiety rises so fast that you lose your steadiness and slip into keeping the peace.
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You're increasingly resentful towards everyone who benefits from your people-pleasing, and wish they would just stop expecting so much.
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You know you’re ‘allowed’ to prioritise yourself, but it’s still hard to believe - and the guilt keeps pulling you back into old patterns you no longer want to live by.
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You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, maybe tried therapy, but you're still not prioritising your needs and protecting your energy in the ways you know you need to.
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You’re increasingly frustrated with yourself, and you're tired of the gap between what you want for yourself, and what you keep doing...
Just knowing what to do isn't enough...
You know you need to say no, communicate clearly, be firmer, put yourself first - but you can't - because of what happens inside of you when you try.
You jump to how they might respond, you worry about letting them down, and can't stop thinking about what the impact will be.
Before you’ve had time to choose, you’re pulled back into putting them first - even when you said you wouldn't -
because it eases the guilt and discomfort.
The thing is, people-pleasing is not really about pleasing anyone. It's a strategy for regulating your nervous system and feeling safe - when people are happy, you feel settled...when they aren't, you're on edge.
The problem is not that you can't say no, it's that setting boundaries dysregulates your whole nervous system - you don't feel safe.
You don't need to be more confident to set boundaries, you actually just need to feel emotionally safe.
And when you have tools that soothe the part of you that becomes anxious the second you try to put a boundary in place, choosing what's right for you becomes exciting and incredibly liberating.
When prioritising yourself feels safe, you'll notice that:
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You’re able to trust other people with their feelings, and get on with your day, instead of automatically carrying their feelings as your own.
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You can manage and handle guilt and anxiety if it comes up, without abandoning what you need in order to make it go away.
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Your attention slowly shifts back to being excited about your own life, priorities and happiness, rather than constantly worrying about how ok everyone else is.
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You can say no to invitations, or cancel plans, just because you need to - without feeling like you have to justify, tell a white lie, or explain your way out of it.
HOW THE COURSE WORKS
BBB is self-study, with a mix of videos, visualisations, worksheets and exercises, accessed via an online portal. It's up to you how quickly you work through the content, but you'll start seeing shifts within the first few lessons. You'll have unlimited access, to revisit any time.
Here's everything BBB covers:
FEEDBACK FROM PREVIOUS PARTICIPANTS:
Nicola
"I've always been a people-pleaser and found setting boundaries tough in terms of the emotional worry & guilt. You see and feel improvements quickly with BBB. I recognise I have been given a 'role' of being flexible and pleasing, but I didn't ask for this and I can reject it now because [I can see] I have a choice, I can move out the lane I've always been in. Now I genuinely feel OK looking out for myself and my own needs. BBB is 100% worth investing in. "
Eva
"People pleasing others constantly was making me feel unwell and resentful. Now I feel I have a choice and have acknowledged to myself I matter too. I feel more in control of my happiness, serving my own self care before attending to others, and feel much less resentful. The personalised support from Elsie whilst doing the course made a huge difference to me. I'm really glad I took the time and spent the money on BBB to break this unhealthy cycle.”
Anna
“This is such a helpful, nourishing course. Elsie offers a well considered, reflective framework that is clear and encouraging...I felt relief almost immediately that this course would help me. I felt I'd lost my sense of self and felt invisible within my family. This course has changed my way of thinking and equipped me to set boundaries as I require. All without anyone in my family knowing I'm different...I feel it's been inner work that has helped me find inner resources again....so I can still be helpful when I'm able to be. The lessening of resentment is wonderful.”
I'M ELSIE, THE THERAPIST BEHIND THE COURSE
For almost a decade, I've specialised in supporting people who are ready to finally do something about their lack of boundaries and difficulty with prioritising themselves.
Here's what I see time and time again:
You can be told to "just say no" or "stop being a people-pleaser" a million times over, and it still won't help you do it.
Because it's never actually been about saying no. It's about your response to that word, and how uncomfortable and unsafe you feel about the idea of prioritising yourself.
Inside BBB, I'll teach you my proven Safe Boundaries Framework. You won’t just understand why it’s so uncomfortable to do what's right for you - you’ll learn how to move through the guilt that keeps you stuck.
And more than that, you’ll feel what it’s like to finally start saying yes to yourself - without losing your genuine care and warmth. This is not about becoming selfish, but simply including yourself in your circle of care.
BBB INCLUDES:
✦ The Safe Boundaries Framework - my signature process that makes setting boundaries feel safe instead of scary (this is the missing piece most boundary advice ignores).
✦ 16 Video lessons - gentle, clear and no longer than 15 minutes each.
✦ 12 Practical worksheets - exercises to build your new boundaries step by step.
✦ 13 Boundaries tools - including word-for-word scripts, techniques to connect to your authentic feelings and strategies to manage the discomfort of setting boundaries.
✦ The Guilt-Free Grounding Toolkit - specialist resources to help you cope with the guilt that comes with prioritising yourself, so it stops pulling you back into people-pleasing.
✦ The Secret Boundaries Framework - explore boundaries that require no direct conversation, so you can build confidence without others even knowing.
✦ The Spoken Boundaries Framework - learn exactly how to shape verbal boundaries that are both clear about your needs AND considerate of others.
✦ Your Safe Boundaries Blueprint - A customised plan to maintain your boundaries after the course ends.
FEEDBACK FROM PREVIOUS PARTICIPANTS:
Claudia
"BBB is so so so helpful I can't begin to tell you. I am 52, about to see my youngest off to university, and I can feel the slow yet steady burn of change everywhere. The change I'm seeing is a positive, profound change in thinking and attitude. Thank you for your expertise, your gentle patience and giving someone who has spent her life forgetting what she wants and who she is the opportunity to pause and remember."
Sara
"I am a total people pleaser and struggle to set any boundaries, especially terrible guilt and fears of rejection if I do prioritise myself. But this morning I had a migraine and actually had the guts to message to cancel something instead of dosing myself up with painkillers and dragging myself there! Loving the course."
Laura
"I feel like I've been looking for this for a long time without knowing it. This course goes even deeper than I figured at first - I didn't realise just HOW big of an investment in myself I was about to make. So worth it. If you have the slightest feeling that BBB might be for you, I guarantee you that it is."